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The government is worried that Singaporeans are not getting hitched - there are increasing number of singles in Singapore. The government is offering a slew of incentives, and even advice on how to date, how to get married, but I doubt it will work. The problem I think is because these measures target the symptoms and not the cause of the problem; in my opinion, the root of the problem lies in the minds of peasantboys and peasantgirls.
Singaporean peasantboys are one of the most boring members of the adult male species - dating them is often a somniferous experience. Ever notice that the only topic of conversation that excites them, other than their jobs, is National Service? Yes we really want to hear about your days in the army, crawling through mud, or gory tales of training accidents - that really gets our loins burning. The added irony is that despite their macho tales, most peasantboys are mummy's boys - what self-respecting man would continue staying with his parents till the late 20's and even early 30's , letting his mum cook, clean and wash for him? Real women want to date grown up men, not little boys staying at home.
Peasantboys are also wimps - they let peasantgirls walk all over them. They act as their chauffer, their ATM machine and chaperone all rolled into one. Yet, in another ironic twist, they are also male chauvinists, hanging on to anachronistic notions of submissve virginal women who would do as they are told and go off looking for Vietnamese village brides when they don't get what they want here. A message for you peasantboys: most women would love to defer to their men, but strong men who know what they want, who have strength of character. We are not going to submit ourselves to wimpy mummy's boys.
Peasantgirls are not any better - they suffer from the 'I want the cake and eat it syndrome'. Singaporean women want the rights of Western Women and none of the obligations. They also want all the rights of Eastern Women and none of their obligations either.
If you want to be treated as an equal - behave like an equal. Don't expect your man to pay for everything and not even thank them for it. Go dutch sometimes. Take a taxi to the place that you are going to meet your peasantboy and not expect to be driven around like an invalid all the time. If you want to be an equal in marriage, contribute equally to the family accounts - in what world do you think it's fair that you get to spend your husband's money whilst keeping your salary for yourselves?
On the other hand, if you want to be treated like an Eastern Woman, for the husband to take care of you financially, materially, drive you around, do things for you then be prepared to take on the obligations of an Eastern Woman. Go learn how to cook - and not just instant noodels and fried eggs. Learn how to sew. Defer to your husband as the head of the household, and learn how to care for him as the primary caregiver (whilst he is the primary breadwinner).
Neither Western or Eastern Woman is superior; however the Singapore Peasantwoman who wants the best of both worlds is definitely inferior. Make up your mind - choose one or the other. Even Peasantboys wake up one day when they have been screwed over in a bad deal for too long.
So the problem as I see it is that the Peasantboy and the Peasantgirl are fudamentally a bad match, to the extent that they probably hate the sight of each other. Peasantboys complain about Peasantgirls all the time, Peasantgirls whinge about Peasantboys, and neither the twain shall meet.
Therefore, until the mindsets of peasantboys and peasantgirls are changed, no amount of economic incentives or nagging by the government will turn things around.
The illnesses of the peasant are of the mind, and unless it's cured, it's probably better they don't get together and procreate.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
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53 comments:
i think i like you more every min! this entry is the greatest! you are my idol!!!!!!!!!
ML totally took the words out of my mouth!
Fantastic post.
For the first time, I agree with what you've said. Well done Lady Melissa!
you question the basic instinct of a guy to care and a girl's instinct to whine. the latter does it because she is by nature insecure and the former understands its part of the foreplay.
equality between the sexes comes not by changing oneself to best fit some utopian idea of a couple, but having empathy to another's occasional eccentricities (arranging for dinner during the champs league final), and to appreciate that 2 1/2 years in the jungle is actually a brainwashingly long time.
Exactly right! Hey, you're pretty good at this. You might be an arrogant arse, but at least you have interesting opinions, style and wit!
A Fan in Japan.
its when you see beyond what he or she does, and look for who he or she is, that i think you find this thing called love.
i see this girl having a huge following. maybe its for the better.
How's your own love life, Lady Melissa? What has the peasants' lovelife got to do with you, your royal piece of shit? Your whole blog is merely about calling people peasants. I don't see how this is going to get you to be respected and taken seriously by anyone. Your analysis on "eastern/western women" is again a generalization. Your whole blog is nothing but generalization. I can't help but see Lady Melissa as an obstinate, grumpy old man with tunnel vision, someone who so proclaims to want to spread the truth and heal the world. I came here because someone told me about this blog. I am totally disappointed.
Sorry B (my friend), I don't find her attractive at all. Thanks for the laughs anyway.
Again, stupid people getting all worked up about the word "peasant". Psh!
Anyways, I really agree with what you say.
Keep it coming.
To some extent of your generalisation, I do agree with you. Just please be kinder with your words. by calling the others "peasant" won't make you a royalty.
Absolutely spot on my lady! My sentiments exactly! From personal experience, Singaporean peasant boys are wusses. But i have to say, the boys from elite backgrounds in Sg are not any better. Smothered by mommy and very immature.
I sometimes wonder what will the next generation of Singaporeans be like. It's pretty sad. Thank goodness I'm out of there!
Recently spoke to a venture capitalist, he is married a woman from Shanghai who takes it all. He said while women in the west are still fighting for equality, the Chinese women have it all figured out.
We are not designed to be equal, most evident in our prehistoric days. Survival skills have since evolved, why should we settle for equality when we can win?
I think Lady Melissa uses "peasant" in a tongue-in-cheek way and everyone isn't supposed to take it too seriously.
~i don't have a blogger account and can't be bothered to set one up~
I would like to clarify that a person's peasanthood has nothing to do with their actual material background.
I know many people born into rich families/elite backgrounds who are peasants through and through.
I agree with Melissa totally.
sigh. she has repeated herself many a times that peasanthood is a state of mind - not being leh. Honestly, one can easily see Melissa is not the arrogant person most mistook her to be.
(okay. shall stop now. I felt as if I'm licking someone's heels, buttering up like a lappie doggie. sorry but aint going to be that.)
This post is the greatest post ever! *I've printed it out and pasted it on my wall liao looorr...and my bro called me a dork* hahahahaha
A stand up post! Well done Lady Melissa!
cheers,
k
if they weren't mummy's boy, they wouldn't think that army is so tough and brag about it all day long would day?
seeeeeee?? hehe. date me?
jesus, so many negative comments.
mel, i don't think the people are ready to hear what you and i believe is right. i don't think its time.
but for those who truly understand what you mean, already know what you mean. Just putting in words.
Never been to army before but I believe it is tough there. If women can whine and bitch, I guess, men can brag and complain too. (But most men don't, aren't we lucky to have such men?)
to maxibonz:
you intrigue me. do you think you can share the secret? why do you think we are not ready to hear the truth? What do you and Melissa wanted us to know? Please do tell. Pretty please?
anon number 1320123:
why don't you take that sarcasm to stomp.sg?
I'm highly interested to know your background as royalty - even true gender would change the tone of your blog entries. Tell me, do you have an autobiography published? Royalty generally do.
Humbly,
a peasant boy.
FUCK ME SIDE WAYS.
the amount of stupid people that reads your blog is reallllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy overwhleming. anonymous fuckers.
It's patently clear to all that peasantgirl and peasantboy are a perfect match because they deserve each other.
They may deserve each other but they hate each other; so they will forever remain apart.
this entry was really really good.
i am not Singaporean,but American, and i have to agree with you on the fact that most girls want to be worshiped, and not have to do anything for their boyfriends.
Good post.
To a certain extent, the reality is that living away from Parents requires substantial financial ability for the Singaporean male.. which is why majority is staying with parents...
On being a mummy's boy, i would think that only a tiny percentage of guys are like that
does this mean peasant girls should simply look for older peasant boys who've naturally matured (and moved out of course)?
And then peasant men with a vast collection of stories and fables to tell and a new flat can place the female into submission? hmm the recalcitrant gangster phase didn't last?
problem is by the time the peasant boys get old enough, they prefer multiple 'wives' therefore his marital status is a non-negotiable. shows like friends make it conventional to experiment as much as you can.
The catch-22 for government policy however is economic advancement vs quality/quantity of our workforce. you can't have a slice of the cake and eat it at the same time.
we're talking an increase in maternal benefits, child care and leave incentives.
all girls irrespective of class should either:
(1) stop whining and get your own car and
(2) accept that girls have always matured 2-4 years faster than men
not every girl whines about their need to be driven around by their men or drive themselves. i.e. I don't like to drive, prefer cabs or tube actually.
and yes, generally speaking, most girls do mature 2-4 yrs faster than men.
What a gross generalization of the current singles problem in Singapore. You stereotyped 1 million (or more?) man and woman of dating age with an analysis that is not even accurate for 10% of this segment of the population.
Many Singaporean girls are decent girls who do not expected to be treated like Her Highness.
Singaporean (or rather, Asian) guys do not move out due to a lack of financial means. You're living in Singapore and you do not even know that? Go talk to guys from Korea, Japan, and you'll see the same problem.
Meanwhile I see so many people agreeing simply because it's another article smashing Singaporeans. What, you people agree with it because it describes you aptly? Grow brains and leave more intelligent comments, rather than "you are my idol!!!".
to: anon August 21, 2008 12:22 PM
if u have problem with the comments, u can simply ignore it. no one put a gun to your head and make u read. everyone is entitled to diff views, i won't say your opinion is stupid even if it is true. Grow brains and leave more intelligent comments too.
You don't like the post? so? You don't like the comments? so?
bugger off. thank you.
very sad i married one. felt being cheated and fall in a pit of shit.
no need to be sad. i'm sure you guys can work things out.
(but be careful of your comments - you don't want a particular reader to tell anyone (of us) to grow brains and leave intelligent comments though I don't see his comment was anywhere near intelligent either)
Sweeping generalisations, presumptuousness and over-simplifying an otherwise varied issue (concerning varied individuals) are traits of peasantry, wouldn't you agree?
- Bloghopper
to fellow anon at August 21, 2008 10:57 AM
(1) relates to "peasant girls" that do like to be driven around simply because its a fashion statement. If they have to whine about it, they should exercise self determination and get their own set of wheels.
(2) relates to the "aristocrats" who prefer older, more established men.
if the above does not concern you because you're in the middle of a marriage then you have to accept the vows you made before the altar and communicate.
to: anon August 21, 2008 9:08 PM
Yes, you are right. Apologized for the miscommunications. :)
heh you don't need to apologise.
I just think that hate and love have reciprocal effects. Thats why "make-up sex" is apparently the most fulfilling.
The beauties and their beasts of this world show that love is incapable of objective measurement. And our government is sorely mistaken if rallying parents to matchmake their kids is the logical answer going forward.
Posts like these make those who have committed to a relationship question their initial commitment, which is unfortunate.
You should not misunderestimate the evilness of the system. Peasantgirl and peasantboy may hate each other but occasionally some of them do marry because they are stupid enough to not know what they are doing. And then they get locked into a kind of lifestyle that can only be supported by dual income, especially when the kids come around. Add to that the woman's charter which makes it extremely difficult for peasantboy to fool around and toss off peasantgirl. In the end so many marriages last longer than they otherwise would have. And then the peasantkids grow up, and for most of them the cycle continues.
It is a brilliant system for which I wish I could take the credit for designing.
numbernine assumes that a utopian marriage between "non-peasant" individuals will always result in everlasting love.
that the "system" INDIRECTLY gives less business for divorce lawyers is a good thing. A culture of broken families is most undesired.
Who knows what we truly "get ourselves into" when its only till death do us part. If you truly wish to break away from any cycle it might be advisable to simply remain single?
I've come to realise that when the platform of communication is the internet it helps if the average intelligence level is thought of as being somewhere between a lichen and a Singapore taxi driver. The average internet Idiot can rarely read or focus on more than each individual word or phrase - are incapable of taking all the words as a whole and understanding the context. They think in simple extremes with simple emotions, often their ability to understand the picture that's being painted not venturing beyond each individual brush stroke. Paint red and they often only see red. They miss all the other colours that follow. With their TV nation instant gratification sound bite upbringing they lack the patience and understanding to appreciate the simple point that the red brush strokes are only a part of the whole picture, are there solely to highlight and to enhance the picture to give form, emphasis humor and context to the other colours as part of the whole picture ..... but often they just see red.
Many of the adversary reactions to your blog entries about peasants etc and Kampong mentality was to me highly predictable. I found your observations to be true. Found them to be funny and well written. As any good entertainer (and for the idiots, that's what a writer is) understands the use of provocative words and imagery is often an effective and necessary part of storytelling, as is humor.
If you read what someone has written and feel nothing then the writer has failed. If you feel some emotion no matter what kind then he/she has done their job.
[To the reader: if after reading this you cant see the point I'm trying to make because your only focusing on my small derogatory comment about taxi drivers or the provocative use of the word idiot then you have just proven my point and you are an idiot - take a bow]
I enjoy your blog articles,
I can enjoy reading them without necessarily agreeing with them (although so far I have)
I don't care what your name is
I don't care what your gender is
eh Wise Ones, so what makes one a non-peasant?
Being born in the right family and educated in a good uni? Pls enlighten everyone.
To Anonymous August 22, 2008 2:07 AM
Need a primer in logic here. I said A => B, where A is "couple is peasantboy and peasantgirl", and B is "unhappy marriage". From this you can imply:
Not B => Not A
which translates into "if it's a happy marriage then at least one of them is not a peasantboy / peasantgirl".
What you cannot imply from what I said is Not A => Not B, which are the words you just put into my mouth, "a utopian marriage between "non-peasant" individuals will always result in everlasting love. "
For more details any undergraduate level textbook on logic should suffice.
I should petition Lady Melissa that in addition to removing posts which use faulty grammer she should remove posts which use faulty logic.
Faulty grammar! Not grammer! Luckily she didn't say anything about spelling mistakes!
Farmer:
I suspect she means that peasants are the stupid and uncultured. But educated is not the same as being not stupid, which is to say that you can have intelligent people with their head screwed on the right way who have attended neighbourhood schools and ITEs, that you can have idiots like George W Bush who attended Harvard and Yale, that they are fairly common and not the exception.
That "peasant" is an indicator of some form of class other than social class. That this form of class has more to do with good values and sanity. And the use of the word "peasant" is meant to indicate that this form of class is actually more significant than our conventional form of social class.
To MikeD:
Finally someone intelligent, observant yet independent enough to have your own opinions. Congratulations, you're a rare breed on the Internet.
Humbly,
a peasant boy
numbernine:
My interpretation (although far be it from me to put words into his/her mouth) is that the word peasant is being used here to describe someone who has a more limited view and experience of the world and their place in it.
A peasant traditionally lives in a small village or community with limited range of travel, has contact only with the small population of that village, and has little understanding of the world, peoples and customs outside the village. (Sound familiar?)
Being a peasant is not necessarily a direct measure of natural intelligence nor financial status, a peasant can be for example (to varying degrees) be verse in several village languages or dialects.
Theirs is not a lower quality world than that of the city folk and shouldn't be looked down upon - its just a different one.
City folk would likely feel just as out of place and stand out just as much bathing at the village pond as a villager might bathing at the city's spa baths.
Either the city or village folk can when they overcome their shyness operate sucessfully in the other folks world, often only betraying their origins through small differences in their language or behavior.
Anyway this is my interpretation of the word. Its not necessarily a derogatory term - just more to do with outlook, sense or place in the world and width of view
To me, being a villager (peasant) is a mind set, nothing else. 'Class' is in fact just a word used to describe the differences in behavior between village and city folk. 'Lack of class' just means a difference in behavior. Not necessarily a bad or good thing.
http://www.straitstimes.com/News/Home/Story/STIStory_271318.html
This article in the straits times clearly shows how shallow peasant boys and girls are (yes, boys and girls, not men and ladies).
ST article
Sorry about the missing link in the last post.
MIKED is absolutely right.
Finally, someone got it. :) I am heartened.
We all know economic incentives don't work. They've been giving out baby bonuses for years, and the birth rate just keeps on plunging. All it does is make life easier for those who are already planning to have kids.
But getting married and having kids are two separate issues. Your post addresses a possible reason why people don't want to marry.
But what's stopping the married couples from starting a family?
Put simply, it's short-termism. People see what they have to give up: career, money, time, sleep, leisure, stress.
They don't see what they get to receive because the rewards are intangible and long-term: life satisfaction, happiness, contentment, company, care-giver.
When they are older, many regret not having kids, or starting a family earlier.
As for me, I'm just worrying about finding a mate.
To the poster...
To the guys and gals who
posted comments...
I offer this...
FUCK YOU.
Oh yeah, and feel free
to lick my balls,
you stupid little cocksuckers.
I love you all.
Kiss me.
Again, fuck all of you.
Have a nice day!
Dumbasses.
you... are something else. but that was a good rebutal... only wish the whole of Peasantland reads it
-anti Peasants-
Hey Lady Melissa,
I'm a male in my mid-20s, single, and agree and disagree with some of the things you said. I've never followed your blog, I just chanced upon this entry.
After reading your entry, I believed I've been through the peasantguy phase that you mentioned, and hopefully got out of it. But there are a few things I feel you should understand.
1. I know not if you're singaporean, but NS for guys here, is a transition phase, before this, a guy has probably never seen the world. Then to be thrown into in all, amidst all the rules, quirky characters and terribly tough training, makes for many memories, some of which are pretty unforgettable. Which kinda explains why they always bring it up. I'm sure you have some unforgettable memories that you still talk about sometimes.
2. Regarding staying with parents. I think some people on this board have already mentioned the financial difficulties within this country to actually move out of your parents' and live on your own. Most people do this only when they get married or are intending to get married. I fully agree on the mummy's boy portion though. AS far as what I feel, maturity does not stem from whether you are living with your parents, but rather from the person's own security about oneself.
I think I pretty much summarise what everyone here said into a nice (hopefuly) polite reply. But on a final note, don't be too quick to give up on guys or girls. These kind of things, take time.
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